Starting this Sunday DCPC Youth will be talking about dating and sexual integrity over 4 weeks (January 21st & 28th, February 18th & 25th) in 2 new series, Potential (high school) and Red Flags, Respect, & Relationships (middle school). These conversations are a regular part of our teaching cycle which brings them back up every other year, usually late winter/early spring when small group members and leaders have had a chance to get to know each other and build some safety for what are really important conversations.

To help orient you to what we’re teaching, here are a couple of important definitions:

Dating: Being in a relationship, however you would label it, where the other person means more to you than just being a good friend.

Sexual integrity: Guarding my potential for intimacy through appropriate boundaries and mutual respect.

We recognize that not every kid is dating or even interested in dating (or sex), but we think that it’s important to demonstrate that the church is a safe place to have important conversations on any topic. And the reality is, middle and high schoolers are being impacted by dating and sex through their classmates, friends, and family. Since that’s the case, we hope that their church can be a voice in the conversation for how Jesus’ commandment to love God, love others, and love ourselves is such an important foundation for the way we approach romantic relationships and intimacy. So, yes, there will be some awkward moments and giggling (and not just from the leaders), but we think it’s so important to equip students with God’s wisdom for healthy relationships.

Calendar

Date	Middle School	High school
January 21	Connect	Content: Dating
January 28	Content: Dating	Connect
February 18	Connect	Content: Sexual Integrity
February 25	Content: Sexual Integrity	Connect

Parent Resources

Here are two articles that have been influential on what we’re teaching:

• “Consent is not enough. We need a new sexual ethic.” by Christine Emba
• “Sex Conversations Through the Phases” by the Parent Cue

Some more practical resources:

• “The Right Way to Have ‘The Talk‘” by Mike Clear (Spoiler: there’s not a right way, and it also shouldn’t be the talk but many talks)
• “Porn Use and Adolescent Health: A Collaborative Review” by Jonathan Haidt and Zach Rausch (Smart phones and the internet have lowered the average age of first viewing of pornography to 11 and early studies are finding that this is having a disastrous effect on how the youngest generation is conceptualizing sex and relationships. This very long document attempts to bring together all of the available research to look for common threads.)
• “When and How to Talk to My Children about Pornography” by Jim Burns (tl;dr, This is a necessary conversation for parents to have with kids along side “the talk” (or talks!) and we need to be having it way earlier than we think.)